Facebook. Is it like a bottle of Merlot?
“May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.”
Wine and Facebook both allow us to live/imagine living better lives. The effects of wine are well known, but are there similarities between wine and Facebook? While Facebook has become a staple in most people’s lives, it has become a gold mine for family law lawyers because it destroys marriages and routinely evidences ongoing bad behavior. Most family law lawyers will tell you two of the root causes of divorce are Facebook and Harley Davidsons. We will discuss the latter in a future article.
Facebook opens the door for marriage problems. A recent study evidences that excessive Facebook use coupled with Facebook-related relationship conflict often results in negative relationship outcomes. [1] Relationship conflict may occur when: 1) You realize a spouse is checking out other possible partners via Facebook. Stalking is easy and undetectable to the person being tracked. Is your spouse closely following someone else on Facebook daily…hourly? While it may start innocently enough, the reality is that connecting with an old “friend” is often problematic; 2) You or your spouse believes “the grass is always greener on the other side…” after seeing the wonderful life others misrepresent on social media. There are no posted photos of cleaning the toilet or status posts about loading the dishwasher or arguing with your spouse. Facebook friends only see the fun and sometimes the excess – not the normal realities of life. Many become depressed or anxious when comparing their lives to the representations of others posted on social media sites. Some become addicted to Facebook. Whose real life can compare to the tip of the iceberg that we see on Facebook. 3) You can easily connect with people from the past – without motives ever being questioned. Your new Facebook Friend might be a high school crush, a past teammate or a co-worker. If that person telephoned you and asked personal questions, you might be suspicious. If you are asked – out of the blue – to be his or her Facebook Friend, you instantly accept the invitation and a new relationship begins. There’s no need to ask personal questions because your whole life is detailed on your Facebook page – from your current relationship status to your favorite book. These relationships may not be in the best interest of your marriage. Yet, you don’t think twice about adding another Facebook Friend to the mix.
As with many things, Facebook can be a tool with many positive aspects – yet the negative aspects do threaten marriages. Doctors tell us that one glass of red wine, such as Merlot, can have health benefits for your heart. Yet, consuming an entire bottle of red wine a night is detrimental. Reasonable use of Facebook can be fun. Excessive use can end marriages.
If you find yourself in a position where Facebook has become detrimental to your marriage, give one of our lawyers a call.
[1] Cyberpsychology, Behavior, And Social Networking – Cheating, Breakup, and Divorce: Is Facebook Use to Blame?
